Adventures in Bachelorette-ing

You know that moment when you're out a swanky club, sipping on some classy champagne, admiring the panoramic view of city lights, and a Cutie McCuterson comes over and starts talking to you? It's flattering and wonderful and it's all fun and games...until you whip out your iPhone, start showing him pictures of your super cute baby and discussing how you are still breastfeeding. Where are you going, Mister Cutie Cute? Your mom's calling? Did I mention that I'm a mom? Okay, bye....

That's exactly what happened at my sister's bachelorette party this past weekend. I spent weeks planning a party suitable for my little sister. She has spent her whole life being amazing, so I had to plan a shindig that reflected just how fabulous she is. She and I have very different styles. She's glitz and glamor, I'm bars and banjos. She can dance all night to Britney Spears, I spent my 20s following Phish. We are as different as champagne and whiskey, but because she is my little twin star I knew just what kind of party to put together.

My sister leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes - and I mean this literally. The girl leaves a trail of glitter in her wake whenever she leaves a room. After she leaves my house, I find hot pink heart shaped rhinestones stuck in my carpet. I find cotton candy in my cupboards. She is creative and artistic and sparkly, and I don't mean that as a metaphor. So it only made sense that I had to glitter the heck out of anything and everything in sight no matter what. I started with champagne bottles.

They turned out so pretty, but let me tell you a secret - it was so easy. Just be prepared to find yourself covered in glitter for the next few days. You will find glitter in some very strange places, but it's a small price to pay for such a fun looking project. All you need is Modge Podge and glitter. Cover the bottle in the Modge Podge, and then get crazy with the sparkle. I used really chunky glitter, which I think works better than fine glitter. It covers the bottle better.

It was time to figure out what type of adventure upon which we should embark to celebrate my sister's impending nuptials. Because she loves me and knew that it would be difficult for me to leave the baby terrorist for the first overnight since the baby was born, my sister decided that San Diego was as good a place as any to party. I took it from there. I decided that a booze cruise made all the sense in the world because, well...there's booze. And water. And a boat. It's really a no brainer. I chose Sail San Diego to take on the challenge of sailing around 12 drunk girls, and Captain John did a great job! We docked at two bars and they paid for our drinks, then hopped back on the boat and boozed some more.

I bought captain hats for each of the girls and hot pink sunglasses. Because I had a thousand pounds of glitter left over from the champagne bottles, I got crazy and bedazzled my sister's sunglasses in hot pink glitter.

After we were sufficiently boozed and cruised, Captain John returned us to shore and it was off to our pretty awesome hotel room. We stayed in the Star Suite at the Andaz Hotel in downtown San Diego. It had king bunk beds, a bar, and a bull's head on the wall so obviously it was perfect.

After eating pizza that my sweet husband and baby terrorist had thoughtfully dropped off, we headed upstairs to the rooftop bar where we proceeded to party a little more. I may have mentioned several times as I swizzled champagne that I was still lactating. Turns out that I am still "super fun" to party with. One by one we made our way back down to our room. I may or may not have returned to the wrong floor and knocked on the wrong hotel room door demanding to be let in before I realized that this was not in fact my room.

I am an old lady, and bachelorette parties in your 30s tend to end a little earlier than they did in your 20s, as we were all in bed by midnight and up bright and early for a nice brunch at Cafe 21. If you haven't been there, you must try it. It's amazing. Especially if you bring your own champagne in a water bottle, which I'm not saying that we did.

Cheers to you, Dolly!