Hit the Road, Jack

Have you guys heard about the family who left their three-year-old daughter at a rest stop for over an hour? If not, let me tell you what went down. It seems that a couple stopped at a rest stop, stretched their legs, got back into the car with two of their three children and hit the road, jack. Well, perhaps they noticed little Cindy Lou was missing as they pulled out onto the open highway, you say? Nope. Well then certainly Mama turned around to say something to cute baby Georgie and noticed with a gasp that Cindy Lou was missing, you might suggest. Wrong again! This family of five got ninety miles down the road when, like out of the scene from a thriller movie, a voice spoke to them through the radio.

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith?" the radio crackled. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, please return to the rest stop you vacated over an hour ago. You left cute little Cindy Lou here and she would like to be returned to her family. Party of five, currently traveling as a party of four..."

I don't want to launch a grenade and participate in a battle of Mommy Wars and I certainly don't want to be a Mommy Shamer. I am no mom of the year myself, as illustrated by the following questionable parenting moments:

• I once let my precious little seven month old terrorist crawl off the precipice of my bed, failing to catch her as she plummeted face first into the floor. I was so horrified and ashamed that I didn't tell my husband about it for weeks until he finally did something as equally cringe-worthy. Then, taking pity on him, I told him my regrettable tale to help alleviate some of his guilt.
• One time I let my daughter lick the bottom of her father's flip flop (barf!) because I was fatigued from hours of toddler tantrums and felt that this was one fight I was going to sit out. 
• More than once I have hidden in the closet while binge eating jelly beans. When the toddler finds me, rather than hiding my stash and pretending I was just playing a game of hide and seek, I sheepishly hand over the bag and let her eat some. It only seems fair.
• Sometimes, when the cupboards are bare, I strategically plan my Costco trip around the toddler terrorist's dinner time. I then let her eat every sample in the store and call it a balanced meal.

There. My shameful confessions are out on the table. I understand that parents are exhausted, juggling a thousand things with only two hands at one time and trying to maintain some semblance of sanity. But forgetting your toddler at a rest stop? On the never-ending checklist of a mom's cluttered mind I would just think that adorable Cindy Lou would be on the top of the priority list. You know, it should look a little something like this:

• Road trip tunes? Check.
• Snacks? Check.
• All of my children? Check.
• Toothbrush? Damn! I knew I forgot something! 
• Extra diapers? Mr. Smith, I can't think of everything! I am only one person for crying out loud. 

And after you pull into the nearest CVS to stock up on the toiletries you understandably forgot, run a quick head count, confirm that you are in fact traveling as a family of five and drive off on your merry way into the sunset.