I'm not sure if it's just my baby, because I often feel like all of my friends have perfect babies that do perfect things and perfectly sleep through the night while dreaming perfect little perfect dreams. How perfectly delightful. But Bugsy May has had some sleep regression as of late and let's just say, mama needs a cocktail. She started sleeping through the night about a month ago and I smugly joined the ranks of those perfect mothers with their perfect sleeping babies. I might have even had a smug thought or two like maybe my baby should be in one of those super cute Pampers commercials where the babies are sleeping like the little angels that they are.
Then one night, out of the blue, Bug decided to wake up at 4am. Okay, well, that's not so bad, I thought to myself.
Then on that unholiest of holy nights, the wee one was up every hour. Well. That was just an anomaly. That couldn't possibly happen again, I told myself as I tried to shake off the unnerving thought that Bug may just have it in for me.
Oh, but happen again it did. And it hasn't stopped. She has now reverted back to those newborn days of yore where every two hours she wakes up hollering, demanding that I too wake up and admire all that 2am has to offer. It ain't much, folks. If it's not last call, I'm not interested.
Last night was New Year's Eve. I barely made it through two glasses of champagne and a movie before I sadly informed my husband that I am in fact the lamest girl in the world and needed to call it a night at the late bewitching hour of 9:30pm. Bug was so sweet and thoughtful and woke up at midnight to remind me that a new year was finally upon us.
And so began a night full of baby cries and mommy sighs. Oh and a whole lot of angry whispers and not so subtle punches as my husband snored away. That man can sleep through anything but how he sleeps through the cries of a one Bugsy May, I'll never know.
And though I digress, let me address that snoring. I swear he is just mocking me with each gnarly, snorty inhale. Look at me, he breathes. I am fast asleep because it's the middle of the night and that's what you do when it's dark outside, you sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep he exhales. Apparently, the little one didn't get the memo, you snoring son of a - well, you get the picture.
And then, as the sun rises, so does the husband. He announces in a sweet, I'm here to save the day, aren't I wonderful voice that he will get up with the baby so I can sleep. How nice! Too bad I am already up for the zillionth time and won't you just be a dear and make some coffee.
So today, on New Year's Day, we are going to try something revolutionary. It is time that the Bug learns to sleep in her crib and take *gasp* naps. I spent a good hour negotiating with the baby terrorist. Here sweetheart, if I feed you will you sleep? No? Okay. How about if I rock you? Oh you don't like that either? Okay well I wouldn't want you to be upset. Diaper change. That's it. It's not? Well color me confused. Would you like to suck on your toes for awhile? You would?! Well okay!
She slept for half an hour. Just long enough for Mama to make a mimosa and toast the new year with the champagne dreams and midnight kiss she was denied the night before.
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| photo courtesy of www.someecards.com |
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