A Punch in the Junk

The feeling of Saturday morning freedom had descended upon our home. I was standing in the kitchen, leisurely whisking eggs as the baby chilled out in her bouncer and the toddler multi-tasked, watching the iPad and coloring. Disney tunes filled the air, when suddenly the calm was punctuated as the toddler hopped down from the table, yelling with glee as one of her jams came through the Bose. She began wiggling around and wagging her finger in a silly dance, belting out the words with such confidence in her garbled toddler talk. I laughed and sang along with her as I chopped vegetables and made funny faces at the baby.

As the song ended it flowed into the next tune. Elton John's voice rang out and I was transported back to the 90s as I hummed along cheesily to "Can You Feel the Love Tonight". My husband walked into the room at that moment and as I turned around to watch the toddler dance, my heart broke into a thousand pieces. The toddler reached her chubby little paws up to her dad and he lifted her into a giant hug, and right there in the kitchen he began to twirl around with her in his arms. I had to turn away before I was reduced into a blubbering, sappy mess over a stupid love song about two damn cartoon lions. I squeezed the baby tightly and thought about all the times I've wanted to punch my lovely husband in the face. How many toddler poop fiascoes I have been forced to endure. I even thought about that time I had to pump in a storage closet when I was on a business trip because employers just don't consider working, breastfeeding mothers. All those times I've thought that I just might lose my mind, that this family life was not what I signed up for, that maybe I am simply not cut out for this mom business flashed before me as I realized - I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Standing here in this tiny kitchen, in our too small home with our too small salaries and our too big worries. There is no where else I can imagine standing than right here, right now with my husband and our two beautiful daughters. Life in this very second is oh so sweet.

And then, just like that, the peace is shattered and reality reappears. As the song ended and my husband gently set our toddler down, she screamed mischievously and sucker punched my husband right in the junk. Laughing like a maniac, she sprinted off yelling "I got you!" as my husband sputtered in pain and I, shaking with laughter, wiped a whole different kind of tear from my eyes

Yep. We are right where we are meant to be.